Friday, August 31, 2012

The Blessing In Being Married

I've made my share of mistakes, but marrying the wrong person was definitely not one of them, and I thank God every day. Not just because I have a wife, because a lot of men have wives. But, I thank him for a great, and wonderful wife. I know what you might be thinking, and no I'm not writing this because I'm in the doghouse. I just appreciate what I have.
First things first, being married in and of itself is not a blessing. I've seen friends of mine go through hell for years because they married the wrong person. The blessing is in being married to someone who was made for you. Someone whose experiences have shaped them into the person that they need to be for you. Someone who shares your love of God and who doesn't make material things their God, and most importantly someone who puts your needs before their own so much so that you reciprocate in love. The blessing is in the fact that you have found someone in this world who loves you in spite of your flaws, idiosyncrasies, and mess. The blessing is in finding a mate who is your alley, partner, friend, and lover. You'd be surprised how many people are sleeping with the enemy! People who go to work every day dreading the end of their shifts because they go home to the wrong person.
Using terms like wrong and right when it comes to choosing a mate is subjective, and depends on knowing who you are. If you are not comfortable with yourself, no one will be comfortable with you. But once you reach that level of self comfort, and self knowledge, you know what you want and more importantly, you know what you need. Speaking from my own personal experiences I have come to the conclusion that dealing with Miss wrong, gave me an idea of what I didn't want, so that I was better able to recognize and appreciate Mrs. Right. I truly believe that a lot of people end up marrying someone who was only meant to be in their lives for a season to help them grow an become prepared. The problem is, once that season is over and that persons purpose had past it's expiration date, they are legally bound to that bad decision.
So, how do we know who is right? First of all we must remember that love is not what is in between your legs. You need something substantial that lasts much longer than 3 minutes. There has to be a connection much deeper than the physical. When you meet the person who is meant for you, you know it, because you cannot imagine how you lived, thrived or survived without this person in your life. Ladies, if a man keeps stringing you along year after year with the promise of marriage, it is because he has no intention of marrying you. Trust me, a man knows when he meets the woman that he wants to spend forever with. I knew that I wanted to marry my wife on our first date because she was and still is everything that I wanted and everything that I needed, and while no marriage is perfect, with commitment, patience, and dedication we appreciate our blessing more and more as time goes on.

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