Have you ever felt like you've been kicked in the gutt? Have you ever been so down, so hurt, and so disappointed that you could barely get down on your knees to pray? During my morning prayer recently I felt like yelling, "where are you?"
Where was God, and why would he allow something to happen that could not remotely work for my good?
This is, of course, a rhetorical question because I know where God is. But I felt like asking recently because I believed that surely an ever present, omnipotent God must have his eyes on me. After all, if his eyes are on the sparrow, I know that he is watching me. But sometimes when he allows things to happen that hurt me to my core it makes me feel as if he's not even there.
All of my readers, friends and family may be wondering why I chose to write about this. Some of you may ask yourselves if I'm losing faith.
The answers are because I'm human, and fearless when it comes to my feelings. I know that I'm not the only one who's felt like this. I'm probably just one of the few who admitt it. I haven't lost my faith by any means. But on this one step at a time journey, on some days it feels like one on the steps is either too damaged, or too broken to repair.
When I feel discouraged I have to ask.....
WHY?! God WHY?!