Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Proper Parenting Preparation

It's official! I am tired of hearing critiques, and theories about what is wrong with our youth today. Particularly in the African-American community. Every talking head has an opinion. From Bill Cosby's cranky old man rants to Don Lemon criticizing boys for wearing sagging pants and then explaining he origin of "sagging" (as if the world begged him for an explanation). It's seems as if the media as well as the community is content with merely avoiding the root cause of the issues.
Far too many people focus on children once they're here. But they don't focus nearly enough on the atmosphere these children are being brought into.
If we are honest  with ourselves we must recognize that some people were just not prepared to be parents. Often times more thought is put into what to watch on TV than making a baby.

Nobody gets into a car and thinks that they can learn how to drive as they go along, and no one thinks that an automobile will continue to run without fuel. Of course it will still be a car. But you have to have the means to fuel it.   The problem is, far to many people have children without the tools or resources needed to fuel their growth. Mentally or physically. There has been a whole generation of children raised "on the fly".
Many, by parents who could not afford them in the first place, or are just not meant to be parents. I know you might ask yourself, "who is ever prepared to be a parent?" My answer is, the preparation not only comes in the form of having a plan in advance. But it also means that there is a willingness to do whatever is necessary to make provisions once the child is born. The fact of the matter is that some parents are just not meant to be parents. This is the reason why so many children are abused, mistreated, and neglected. They were born to parents who don't have the mental capacity to raise them. Having the ability to have intercourse, ejaculate, and conceive is not, was not, and never will be an automatic qualifier.

I am a father of three, and far from a perfect father of three. But I can honestly say that I will do whatever it takes to nurture and raise my children. I was prepared to do so before they were born, and I am always ready to make whatever sacrifices are necessary to help them thrive, succeed, and conquer.

The decision to have a baby should never be taken lightly, and the moment should never take precedence over the future, because we can never get a moment back. The future will always be ahead of us. 

I've heard complaints about inadequate schooling in rough neighborhoods, and I have always wondered if these parents had any idea that the neighborhood was rough before they had a child, or if they thought the area that they live in would magically transform into a wonderful place over the course of nine months. 

It's hard for me to believe that any reasonable adult actually made a conscious, informed decision to have a child and continue to live on the South Side of Chicago, Compton California, or Bed Stuy Brooklyn. At least not as a long term intention. If you can't change the environment, you must change your environment. The lives of our children are in our hands.


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