Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Battered Men?!

What kind of self respecting, testosterone-filled man would admit that he is getting pulverized by a woman. Hardly any. this is the reason most men do not report domestic violence. But studies show that just as many men get battered as women do. Here in America we have been culturally conditioned to believe that men are the stronger, more dominant sex. But in fact, being an abused man may have little if anything to do with strength or domination. I believe that the causes are far more psychological than anyone realizes, and are really no different than the reasons women have for staying in abusive relationships.
I, like most men have been told my whole life to never hit a woman, and thankfully I have never been put into a situation where I was forced into such contemplation. But many men apparently have been. Some have chosen not to fight back because of the stigma involved. Knowing that if they complained they would be looked at as even less of a man than their significant other thinks they already are. So, they stay in this abusive relationship with dwindling self esteem and accept their circumstances as their destiny, never aspiring to be in a healthy environment. They simply feel like they can't do any better. So these men take the physical and verbal blows in anticipation of quiet moments of transformation, and peace. Other's may not want to risk being torn away from their families by a system that will provide and enforce order's of protection based on a women's accusation. Most of which are legitimate but, there are always those who endeavor to abuse the system. Lets face it, nobody wants to lose their family. These feelings are not much different than those of battered women. There are subtle nuances in both experiences but the stigma of being less than a man because they are being abused is not so subtle at all. Police called to scenes of domestic violence involving a man as a victim will not take the matter seriously, and often assume that he must have gotten hit for a reason. The possibility of self defense is basically non existent, and laughable in the minds of most. I have even heard of cases in which the man called the authorities and then ended up going to jail. The reasons can vary according to the situation. While I don't advocate violence of any kind, I also do not advocate being on the receiving end of it either. In my mind the gender of the abused doesn't matter. If you are being abused, you will leave. Either on your own in a moment of clarity, or on a stretcher in a moment of pain. Door #1. Is by far the best option.


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