Wednesday, October 17, 2012

3 Reason's Why He Won't..........

There are a lot of women who have been in long term relationships with men who will not commit. Some may be content and are willing to settle. But I am willing to bet that there are many more who feel that they deserve a man who wants to marry them.
Today there are many couples who live together. This living arrangement has become a staple of modern times, and has even been said to be a necessary precursor to marriage. But "shacking up" more often than not, is just a precursor to disappointment. I may be a bit presumptuous for assuming that the man involved is the one who doesn't want to marry but, the complaint that I hear regarding this issue is always from women. Reasons for a man not wanting to commit vary but these are the top 3 reasons.
#1. He already has all of the benefits.
You live together. You sleep together. You may even cook his meals and Do his laundry. You work as a goal oriented team. You may even raise children together but you're still not married. Why would he marry you if he can live like a married man without a legal or spiritual commitment. There is no mystery as to what his married life with you would be like because nothing is left to the imagination. If he already has your mind, your heart, and your body, what incentive is there? Love is not legally, or spiritually binding.
#2. You are not the one. It doesn't take a man 5 years to realize that he wants to give you his last name. An experienced man knows exactly what he wants in a woman, and more importantly, he knows what he doesn't want in a woman. If you are really what he wants he would have married or proposed to you within the first year. If he hasn't, it is probably because he doesn't see you as marriage material. Whether you know it or not, you could just be his "Miss Right Now", and the minute something better comes along, he will commit to her. I know!
#3. You haven't set a standard. Years into a relationship is not the time to start pressuring him to marry you. If you have the slightest inkling that you might want to have a life with this man, you have to let him know from the beginning. Don't let him sleep with you for years, bear his children, live a marriage like life, and then decide that you want more. Chances are he will not be willing to give you more because you never set a standard. Men are far more complacent than women. If it isn't broke, in his mind. Why fix it? He's getting what he wants, needs, and desires.
There is one last point. Having his children will not make him marry you. It just makes him more comfortable. So what if your children's teacher calls and refers to you as Mrs. Jones when your last name is Davis. I guarantee you that won't phase most men.



  1. Well said. Women have to first value themselves, if they don't, they are headed for disaster. My old-fashioned mother (thank God!) used to say "the girl always sets the tone." Some women are so desperate for attention (negative or otherwise) that they will go for anything. You should put your advice on a billboard! More than just the women on this forum need to see it!

  2. Your mother sounds just like mine. God rest her soul. I think that men only do what women allow them to do, and that a real man respects a woman who respects herself. I wish that I could afford a billboard!
    One day!