Saturday, July 27, 2013

Should Getting Married Be Based On Love Alone?

From the very first time that we recognize that there is a thing called love. Most of us have a romantic notion or idea of what we think love is. We believe that we will meet that one magical person who will always understand us, always know what we want, and always give us what we need. The second we get the slightest inclination that we've found that special someone, most of us fall in love, or what we think is love, and we want to marry a stranger based on what we see on the surface.
There are always signs that Mr., or Mrs. Magic has a flaw or two but those flaws are often ignored in favor of the fantasy, because, everybody has flaws. In many cases it ends up being a trade off. People go into marriages for what they want or what they love about a person and accept what they "think" they can deal with. The problem is, as time passes, they become accustomed to what attracted them in the first place. That thing that made them fall in love. But often times come to realize that the thing that they thought that they could deal with has become just too much to ignore.

For instance. You knew that this man was a cereal cheater, but you married him any way. You knew that this woman did not have the ability to manage money, but you married her anyway.
Lets be honest, 50% of the time what we thought was love was infatuation and lust. But infatuation doesn't last forever, and being in lust can fade. Once that happens people feel as if they have fallen out of love but in fact they have fallen into reality. 

No one should get married for love alone because some people just don't know what love is, or why they think they love some one. Love and marriage should never be based  on physical pleasure because, like anything else, no matter how good it is, you become accustomed to it. Then there has to be stimulation outside of the bedroom. There has to be love outside of the bedroom, or what you were in was never love in the first place. We all have short comings but not all of us are interested in managing them, and bettering ourselves. If your mate is content on being complacent in drama and is not a forward thinking individual where their future is concerned. Why would it be beneficial to enter into a marital union with them? The union of marriage is just that, it is a union. It is never wise to become one with someone who either cannot manage themselves individually, or have no intentions to o so.

The bottom line is, when it comes to a perspective spouse it is important to look past what you feel, and think. In other words, love with your mind as well as your heart, and never let your heart lead you into a situation that your mind cannot handle. In the beginning of most relationships physical attraction becomes an essential over all other factors, but as time goes on other things become essential in the preservation of a relationship. The inability to manage a crisis is not an afrodisiac. The inability to manage money, or provide is not and afrodisiac.
There is an old saying, "familiarity breeds contempt". But this should not be the case in a marriage. Familiarity with your spouse should make love stronger. If your feelings for your spouse have become contemptuous then you've gotten yourself into a union where there is no unity.


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