Saturday, July 21, 2012

Do Absentee Father's Deserve Rights?

Father's rights has long been a sensitive subject especially in the black community. I have often heard women complain about the dead beat father's of their children, who are unable or unwilling to provide for or have anything that vaguely resembles a relationship with their offspring. This narrative has been repeated so often that it has almost become synonymous with African American males, and absentee father's in general. But the reality is that their are many good father's out their who have fallen victim to a bias and corrupt system which has more often that not, been used as a weapon by some bitter and vindictive women.
Don't get me wrong. There are a lot of males who are not equipped to be fathers or men for that matter, but their are a lot of us who enjoy being in our children's lives, and could not imagine life without them.
The family court system can be a useful tool when it comes to protecting children and looking out for their welfare but in cases where custody, child support and visitation are involved, fathers are often demonized and treated as if they do not have the capacity to be responsible. I have known men who have paid child support, got visitation orders, and still were not allowed to see their children . The child's mother got angry because the father moved on and decided to use the child as a weapon against him. Not realizing that no one is going to be hurt in this situation more than the child.
The bottom line is when you decide to lay down with someone there is always a chance that you can become linked to them forever, and the child being that link should have the benefit of being raised by both parents regardless of any issues or animosity. That being said, those fathers who want to be active in their children's lives should have every right to do so without obstacles in their way.


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