Saturday, February 13, 2016

Just When You Thought You Heard It All News (2-13-2016)

This is the perfect "fat" gift for your greedy Valentine!

According to some, Valentine's Day is a pretty cheesy holiday, so why not celebrate it with a cheesy treat?

That's the logic behind Doritos roses, a very limited-time offering of 12 long-stemmed roses formed with petals of ketchup-flavored Doritos, a flavor that was discontinued after it debuted in Canada in 2003 but has been rereleased for a limited time.

These very real, free bouquets are sadly only available in Canada, and were all gone by the time we got to the website. In fact, a spokeswoman for Doritos told The Huffington Post they were all swooped up within hours in all three available cities -- Montreal, Toronto and Vancouver.

But rejoice, Nacho Cheese chasers, the brand has also offered up six easy steps to DIY this Valentine's Day treat with whatever flavor of the beloved chip you fancy:

All you need is a bag of Doritos, some fake flowers, glue, and the willpower not to eat the whole bag before you're done. 

As excuses go, this one is pretty fishy. 

A Wisconsin man convicted on Monday for his 10th Operating a Vehicle While Intoxicated charge (OWI) actually had the nerve to blame his high blood alcoholcontent on beerbattered fish, according to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel.

And the other 9 times it was what? Rum cake, vodka sauce maybe?

John Przybyla, 76, was arrested in October 2014, after a deputy noticed his truck cross the center line of a state highway.

The deputy said Przybylas breath smelled like alcohol and administered a field sobriety test that the suspect failed, according to local news station WISC.

Przybyla denied drinking alcohol, but said he had eaten beer-battered fish earlier in the evening. He made the same dumb statements in court on Monday.

If true, there would have to be a lot of beer in that batter.

Police said Przybyla's blood-alcohol level was .062, according to the Associated Press.

That's below the state's normal legal limit of .08, but the legal limit for Wisconsin residents with three or more drunkendriving convictions is only .02 percent.

As novel as the beer-battered fish defense may be, jurors did not fall for it hook, line or sinker.

Przybylas found guilty of operating while intoxicated, 10th offense; operating with a prohibited alcohol concentration; and operating while revoked, according to

No sentencing date has been set, but Przybyla could face up to 12.5 years in prison.

An insane Florida man, (as if there's any other kind), in Jupiter is facing assault charges after Fish and Wildlife officials said he tossed an 3.5 foot live alligator into the drive-thru window of a Wendy's.

U.S. Marshals arrested 24-year-old Joshua James on Monday and charged him with assault with a deadly weapon and unlawful possession and transportation of an alligator, according to

The incident happened last October, but officials for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Department only tracked him down recently.

According to the incident report, James pulled up to the window at a Wendy's in Loxahatchee last fall and placed an order for a drink. 

After he got the beverage, investigators said he tossed the alligatorwhich he had in the back of his truck, into the restaurant's kitchen, according to the Miami Herald.


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