Sunday, June 23, 2013

Living In The Past

If you're  a single mother because your husband or child's father passed away. This is not for you. If you are a single mother and your child's father is a genuine loser. Then this is not for you. If you happen to be a single mother who is a loser herself, or a grown woman with a child who relishes wallowing in self pity, then this IS definitely for you.

All too often I hear bitter single mother's complain about how hard their lives are. Fishing for sympathy as they wear their all too familiar disdain for their lives on their sleeves. Listening to some, you could almost get the impression that they had nothing to do with getting  pregnant, and the child's father's are all low life's who made promises and then pulled a "hit and run".

These stories have become a romanticized struggle, and testament to a way of life to which they as kindred spirits are all accustomed to. The villain in this narrative are always men who are never there to defend themselves. But are generally recognized as irresponsible, emotional predators who opted out of parenthood. The question is. Are these tales of whoa based on fact?

The reality is, there have always been, and there always will be people who will cause turmoil, and confusion. The trick is recognizing whether you are that tumultuous person or if the person you're in a relationship with, is the one who is reeking havoc in your life.
Sometimes it can be a difficult thing to understand the dynamics of a situation or have a clear understanding when you think with your heart. But there is one thing that we can all be sure of. People will ALWAYS reveal themselves, and who they really are will always come to the surface. 
In most cases having a baby will not change who they are, or advance the relationship. It just makes things more complicated. Having a baby to save a relationship, or in hopes that a man is going to change is like trying to put out a fire with a bucket of gasoline. It only makes things worse. One of my favorite quotes is from Maya Angelou. 
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them."
In addition to this, you should know who you are, and then ask yourself what role you played in making your life the way it is. It is so much easier to blame someone else than it is to hold yourself accountable for your actions, and using your past as a crutch will never take you into the future. Like everything else in life, you pray, do everything you can to make a situation better and then you just stand.

That so called man that has caused you so much pain is not in your life for a reason. God is still in control.


No comments:

Post a Comment