Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Just When You Thought You Heart It All News (6-22-2013)

Some people are crazy. Others are just plain stupid. But there is also that rare breed of people who's antics have a category all their own.

On May 21, a judge of the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California dismissed a complaint filed by a woman who said she had purchased "Cap'n Crunch with Crunch Berries" because she believed it contained real fruit.  The plaintiff, Janine Sugawara, alleged that she had only recently learned to her dismay that said "berries" were in fact simply brightly-colored cereal balls, and that although the product did contain some strawberry fruit concentrate, it was not otherwise redeemed by fruit.  

This woman's brain was probably made of crunch berries.

She sued, on behalf of herself and all similarly situated consumers, some of whom may believe that there are fields somewhere in our land thronged by crunchberry bushes.

No words...........

According to the complaint, Sugawara and other consumers were misled not only by the use of the word "berries" in the name, but also by the front of the box, which features the product's namesake, Cap'n Crunch, "aggressively thrusting" a spoonful of 'Crunchberries' at the prospective buyer."  

Using the phrase "aggressively thrusting" in reference to cereal seems so wrong, for so many reasons.

 Sugawara claimed that this message was reinforced by other marketing representing the product as a "combination of Crunch biscuits and colorful red, purple, teal and green berries."  Yet in actuality, the product contained "no berries of any kind."  She  claimed fraud, breach of warranty.
The case was dismissed.

I wonder if she knows that Cap'n Crunch is not a real captain. Or is he?

What in the world?!?!
There's a buzz happening in Beverly Hills over a group of women who call themselves the "Marijuana Moms."

Maybe the "Moron Moms" would be more appropriate.

Many of the members of this loosely-knit group of pot-smoking parents smoke the wacky weed in order to relax or cope with chronic pain. In addition, they meet regularly for lavish dinners where the herb is the key ingredient in dishes like cannabis leaf salad, chicken fried in cannabis oil and marijuana milk shakes.

Cheryl Shuman, a 53-year-old mother of two, said the group's joint mission is to show that smoking marijuana makes them better parents and better wives.

Define better? I hope the kids don't eat the fried chicken.

"We've all come up against people who say marijuana is for dirty druggies, but we are proof you can be good parents and productive members of society and use it," Shuman said, 
"I like to think we are bringing some glamor and exclusivity to marijuana use."

I have lived in The United States my whole life, and all of this time I thought that Beverly Hills was part of California. Who knew that it was actually another planet.

One of of the marijuana moms, January Thomas, 37, not only tokes up to five times a day while she looks after her daughter, 2-year-old Zenna, but she reads her child books with titles like "Mommy's Funny Medicine," and "It's Just A Plant."

Marijuana makes me a better more creative parent. Thomas said in a video for Barcroft TV. "It puts me in the moment with Zeena and stops me worrying about everyday problems."

Another one of these "Really Stoned Housewives of Beverly Hills" credits ganja with saving her marriage to her husband of 14 years who happens to be a cop.

Probably not anymore. A cop cannot live with a perp.

Simmi Dhillon, 40, sustained serious injuries in a 2003 car accident that left her with chronic pain and a reliance on prescription painkillers, but said the giggle weed saved her.

"When I found medical marihuana my life turned around, I was 37 and I tried a joint my friend was smoking [and] for the first time in years I felt human. I was able to be the wife I wanted to be once again and it saved our marriage.

"Now I can talk to my 10-year-old son about drugs and be completely honest about it. Before I was like a zombie on prescription medication now he's got his mom back."

Marijuana is illegal in California without a prescription, but even with one, parents who partake get negatively judged by others. Diane Fornbacher of the pot-legalization group NORML says this judgment is unfair.
Compton moms would never be allowed to get high much less say that it makes them better parents. Child services would be all other that house.

Some criminals are dumb. Some criminals are dumber......and then there's 
Jamie Neill.

Neil who was inebriated, who tried to stick up a gas station while wearing a clear plastic bag as a "mask" in Cornwell England, has been sentenced after his chosen disguise gave him away. Jamie Neil, 41, and his accomplice Gareth Tilley, 20, were both reportedly drunk and high last September when they decided to rob the convenience store at a local gas station. 

Correction, they were both very drunk and very high.

So they grabbed "the nearest thing they could find" to disguise themselves. “Before arriving at the location Tilley disguised his face using a scarf,” says Detective Constable Steve White. “And Neil, being less resourceful, put a plastic bag on his head.” Tilley then pointed his cell phone at the gas station clerk and demanded cash, but when the phone's keypad lit up and betrayed the fact that it wasn't a pistol, the employee hit the alarm. Neil grabbed and headbutted the employee and, with several bottles of liquor in hand, he got free but only temporarily. An off-duty officer recognized Tilley on the street two days later, identifying him from the gas station's security footage, in which his face was clearly visible through the plastic bag. Both have pled guilty and will spend the next two years in prison. Constable White called the plastic bag the most "ridiculous" disguise he had ever come across.


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