Thursday, April 4, 2013

Who Comes First?

We live in a "me first" society. Most people's main focus is having their needs fulfilled. The frame of mind is not "what I can give" but, "what can I get". Simply because giving, involves sacrifice on some level, and the very idea of sacrifice is fast becoming out dated in a world where egocentricity has become the norm. As a result marriage is becoming a disposable gesture, that can be cast aside as soon as the thrill is gone.

Just yesterday one of my cousins posted a very profound, yet poignant question on Facebook, "In a family, who comes first, your spouse or your children?" This question is profound in its simplicity, yet poignant in a sense that most of us, have unknowingly made a choice. I believe that the vast majority of us automatically put our children first, and as appropriate as this may seem, it is not based on biblical principal. When you get married, you become one with your husband or wife.

Your children are a natural a part of you. But you and your children are not one. They are gifts from God that we are to love and care for until they are mature enough to take care of themselves. If you cling to your children and make them the center of the universe they will never become productive adults.

A husband and wife should grow together, and be on one accord taking care of one another, understanding and satisfying each others needs. Putting God first in all that they do, and praying for guidance every step of the way. If the marriage is strong, and whole, then the children will also reap the rewards of being raised by a mother and father who are not just Mommy and Daddy, but partners who are united to achieve one common goal. A house with a cracked foundation is a house that is in danger of falling.



  1. I agree with you. "One Flesh", as 'The Lord said. The spouse should always come first. However, there are some extenuating circumstances. For example; your wife has a hair show to get to, but your daughter just received a third degree burn, and needs to get to the hospital. Other than the "extenuating circumstances", your spouse always comes first. Use your wisdom to make a sound judgement.

  2. Most definitely, there will always be extenuating circumstances, Any good mother will recognize them way before we do, and forget about themselves.