Saturday, December 12, 2015

Just When You Thought You Heard It All (12-13-2015)

Police say a lucky homeless man (yes, I said a lucky homeless man), sleeping inside a garbage bin in Fremont, California, survived two compaction cycles after the bin was emptied into a trash truck.

Fremont police spokeswoman Geneva Bosques said Tuesday the 44-year-old man was sleeping inside a large trash bin behind a restaurant when a trash truck collected it and used the compactor.

The truck then traveled to a fast food restaurant, collected trash from another bin there and again used the compactor.

She says the man crawled out through an opening in the roof the next time the truck stopped at another store.

Bosques says the man was very lucky to have survived the compaction without serious injuries.

The man, who suffers from mental health issues, was taken to a hospital to be checked.

Six11-pound geese, 13 pounds of goose fat and liver, three ducks, a one-gallon jar of pickles, butter, and a package of poppy seeds.........and a partridge and a pear tree!! But these are not lyrics to a Christmas carol of yore but rather the food items enjoyed by an alleged "gastro-thief", accused of hiding in a restaurant in the Czech Republic at closing time and dining like a king overnight. Authorities say the man, variously identified by the media as being 38 or 48 years old, sneaked into an unnamed Prague eatery and hid in a bathroom as staff were closing up on Sunday.  When the coast was clear, he, as police put it, "feasted royally" on $800 worth of food, though it has been noted that he "sampled" the aforementioned items rather than consumed them all—then washed it all down with several bottles of wine, authorities say. Apparently he had no room for dessert, but wrapped up beer and a strawberry cake to take with him, police say. He also packed some clothes including chef’s pants, and searched the bar and employee lockers for money, authorities say. They believe his plan was to sneak out again in the morning. Instead, he was discovered by a cleaner who arrived around 9am and called police. The man now faces up to two years in prison. 

Not sure what to buy the ones you love for Christmas? Well, it's a good thing I'm here to help! Here's a few suggestions. The only thing is. After they open these presents, the ones you love may not love you!

The I ran into a reindeer sweater.

The chrome gun mug.A subscriptions to the dirt of the month club.

And last but not least.


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