Just When You Thought You Heard It All News (7-27-2013)

Early Tuesday morning, Akua McClaine was having a seizure but her five-year-old son knew what to do, call 911.

Demonte Reilly knew exactly what to say when the operator answered the call. Demonte told the operator what had happened to his mother, her age and her medical history, as well as their location. His mother had drilled him on what to say if he ever had to call 911. The operator was so impressed with the boy’s actions that she contacted the local news,

 “I’m so proud of him,” McClaine told the news station about her son’s actions. “He saved me.”

The only thing Demonte doesn’t remember about the ordeal was how long it took for the EMS to arrive. He just graduated from kindergarten, so he doesn’t know how to tell time. As for McClaine, she was treated at a local hospital and released. “I just said, ‘baby I love you so much’ and he said, ‘no mommy, I love you.’”

Little Demonte is probably the tiniest hero in America.

Side Bar: What did they do to this boys hair?!

There are stupid criminals, and then there are stupid criminals. Then again, just being a criminal is stupid. It is quite a fruitless endeaver in the long run, unless you're a bank CEO, or work on Wall Street. But this guy is nobody's CEO, and I doubt that he could find work on Wall Street.

A would be burglar got busted when the owner of the shop he was allegedly attempting to rob walked in on him...stuck in the chimney.

Ernest Raney, owner of Capital Pawn in Harrison, Ark., opened up his shop on Wednesday and began hearing sounds, thinking something might have gotten lodged in the chimney. Something had in fact gotten lodged in the chimney, which turned out to be 38-year-old Michael Wayne Case, A.K.A Arkansas's Albert Einstein.

It appears Case climbed into the 10.5-inch by 11-inch chimney opening late Tuesday night in an attempt to burglarize the pawn shop and became stuck for nearly 10 hours. He later claimed he had merely fallen in, which is highly unlikely given the small size of the opening. Police have charged him with commercial burglary, resisting arrest, and criminal mischief.

When firemen and police arrived to extract Case, they pulled him out by lowering a rope down the chimney. The damage caused to get Case out reportedly will cost around $2,500.

"His mouth was real violent. He cursed and basically used foul language that I don't repeat," Raney said.

What's more, the chimney is sealed at the bottom, so had Case been able to wriggle down to the end of the space, he would not have wound up inside the shop.

"Chimneys don't go straight down," Raney's wife Marie said. "He didn't know chimneys himself. If it had been possible, he could not have gotten out of our store because we have burglary alarms. He wasn't thinking." 

Of course he wasn't thinking. You need a brain to think.

This last story gives the phrase "keystone  cop" a whole new meaning.

In a story that was shared with a monthly police magazine, a police officer in Sussex, England, ended up chasing himself around for 20 minutes. A CCTV (closed circuit TV) operator saw a suspicious man on the streets, and called a plainclothes officer for help. The operator gave directions to the areas where the suspicious man was caught on camera, and the officer always seemed to be close, but could not see any evidence of the man. That is, until they realized that the "suspicious character" was actually the plainclothes officer! The date of the misadventure has been lost in the retelling, as all police officers involved were too busy laughing.

PR