Just When You Thought You Heard It All News (10-29-2016)

https://youtu.be/SkGh_wkUvU0

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING YOU'VE SEEN ALL WEEK!

This is a Halloween horror story as old as time, about a dumb girl who turned into a pumpkin.........

She thought it would be funny to have a glimpse inside the fruit, only for her skull to be overtaken. What is a girl to do in such a predicament? Have her dad call the fire department? Have her mom post the video on the internet, “for sure”? Curse her ponytail? 

Or should she pray to the evil spirits who put her there in the first place? It seemed her fate was all trick and no treat. 

But luckily, there’s a second part of the saga in which the girl with a pumpkin for a head gains her freedom.

People will sue for anything and everything. I'm surprised that some psycho hasn't tried to sue God for a rainy day....yet!

A woman who says she has been unable to “speak above a whisper’’ since eating a Jimmy John’s sandwich containing Dijon mustard is suing the fast-food giant, claiming a Comstock Park franchise got her order wrong.

After taking one bite of her "Billy Club" sandwich, Lindsey Bresnahan had an allergic reaction because it contained Dijon mustard “contrary to her specific instructions,’’ according to the federal lawsuit.

Bresnahan at the time worked in a financial loan office on Alpine Avenue NW and her job involved “a great deal of telephone contact with prospective customers,’’ the lawsuit claims.

She has been unable to “speak above a whisper’’ since the June 2 incident and has been unable to return to her job. Bresnahan is currently on disability, according to the lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court in Grand Rapids.

It accuses Jimmy John’s of failing to accurately take her order and relay the information to employees. The Illinois-based company also failed to train employees on the dangers of customers ingesting foods that can cause severe allergic reactions, the lawsuit claims.

As a result, Bresnahan has suffered significant emotional distress, humiliation, embarrassment and an “inability to conduct normal activities of daily living,’’ the lawsuit claims.

Her June 2 phone-in order was placed at the Jimmy John’s on Alpine Avenue north of Four Mile Road NW in Comstock Park.

She ordered a ‘Billy Club Unwich,’ which comes with roast beef, smoked ham, Provolone cheese, Dijon mustard and mayonnaise and uses Iceberg lettuce as a replacement for bread, according to the lawsuit.

Bresnahan specifically requested that the sandwich, which was delivered, not include Dijon mustard and mayonnaise, the lawsuit claims.

After biting into the sandwich, she began to experience an allergic reaction. Symptoms included coughing, watering eyes “and her throat beginning to close,’’ the lawsuit claims.

Bresnahan took three Benadryl pills and continued to work, “believing she could recover from the allergic reaction,’’ the lawsuit states.

After recovering enough to make a phone call, Bresnahan called Jimmy John’s to report what happened and the person who answered the phone “apologized for the mix-up’’ and sent a delivery person to retrieve the sandwich, the lawsuit claims.

She had a doctor’s appointment that afternoon for an unrelated issue and was told by her doctor to continue taking Benadryl, the lawsuit claims.

Bresnahan left for a memorial service in New York the next day and “continued to cough violently and also vomited frequently,’’ according to the lawsuit. “By the time she returned to Michigan on Sunday, she was barely able to speak.’

She sure showed him.

A North Carolina woman who said she wanted to prove to her husband that playing the lottery is a waste of money bought a $10 scratch-off and won $1,000,000.

“I had to eat my words,” Glenda Blackwell said in a release from the state lottery commission. “But those are pretty good words to eat.”

The 57-year-old from Leicester said she purchased the ticket Saturday after her husband asked her to pick up two Powerball tickets. She instead grabbed the Carolina Millions scratch-off for herself.

“I wanted to show him that luck doesn’t always hit,” she said.

It didn’t quite work out that way.

“When I scratched the two, there was ‘$1,000,000 winner’ under the two,” she told a local media source.

Blackwell said she was in total disbelief until she was handed a blown-up check bearing the seven-figure sum on Monday.

“We’ve struggled a lot, so now we can buy our own home and our own land. It’ll be paid for and I don’t have to worry about that no more,” she said. “So, that’s what I plan to do with some of the money and the other part I plan to help my daughter and to put money up for my two granddaughters for college.”

Blackwell chose the lump sum of $415,503 instead of receiving 20 annual payments.

PR

How Black Are You?!

It has often been said that if you have the slightest bit of African ancestry, you are African. But the fact of the matter is no mater what you or your DNA says, how you see yourself and what people see. Given the fact that part of the black experience here in America has a lot to do with indoctrination, adaptation, and exploitation, many of us want to be anything and everything except black. I have personally never met an African with roots in America who is 100% black. But I have met many who are uncomfortable with what it means to be black or look black. I have seen way too many "good hair" obsessions, and heard far too many proclamations of ubiquitous Indians being a part on ones family tree. It is all foolishness and nonsense. 

We have been trained to be at odds with each other competing in a "best negro" competition, and best, in this instance, is automatically equated to being that which is close to white when it comes to issues of color. But in an interesting twist, now a days, light skinned African American’s or bi-racial people are being questioned about their ethnicity and how black they are. Recently it has become a popular trend to get genetic DNA testing to see exactly what percentage of black a person is. There are many DNA testing companies that are  are easily accessible and affordable all over the internet. Companies such as Anstesory.com  and 23andme heavily advertise their services online and on TV.  Many light skinned people have been criticized so much all their lives that they wanted to officially prove how much African they have in them.

The Hodge brothers are bi-racial twins that were ridiculed because they only identified as black. So they took a DNA test and it found that they were 58% African. In my opinion this was a ridiculous waste of time. If you look at the brothers in the picture above they look black. So would identifying themselves as white be a better idea? No, I don't think so. Society is not fit or equipped to decide how anybody should identify themselves. No matter how light your skin may be, if you look black that is how you'll be identified. Congratulations to Hodge brothers for embracing who they are. Some of us don't have the option of making a choice, and we still try to be something that we're not. Some dark skinned black people think that if they go to a certain school, live in a certain neighborhood, talk or act a certain way, achieve a certain level of notoriety or marry a different race, that people will overlook the fact that they are black  These people need a reality check. Last time I checked it is impossible to change what you are. So we can either choose to embrace it, or live our lives in turmoil fighting the enemy within.

PR

Just When You Thought You Heard It All News (10-22-2016)

If you live in China and you’re still looking for an extra-spooky Halloween costume, the Shenzhen Lanbingcai Latex Crafts Factory has got you covered with what could quite possibly be the most frightening mask in the history of the world!

The factory, which churns out tons of Halloween costumes and masks, is distributing rubber masks of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump within mainland China, as seen in Getty Images’ photo database.

They cost about $4, which is about $3.99 too much, and they’re pretty terrifying.

China has come up again and again as one of the many scapegoats in Trump’s description of the world. He has blamed the country for, keeping its currency cheap and possibly even hacking the Democratic National Committee.

The Chinese government has yet to comment on the U.S. election, but several news outlets have called out the “weirdness” of this election cycle and denounced the process as corrupt.

Trump and Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton just had their third and final presidential debate on Wednesday night. He currently only has a 5.5 percent chance of winning the election, Which is the equivalent of a snowballs chance in hell, according to recent polls.

Anybody with the slightest bit of "street knowledge" knows one thing, the game is to be sold not to be told. But I guess nobody bothered to explain the rules to this dumb donkey....

Jay “The Plug” Mendoza a black and Cuban immigrant decided to take his crack cooking talents to new heights by live streaming his skills on Facebook with an all inclusive cocaine tutorial........... His live streaming views on Facebook reached 100K before being shut down. He even provided a website (TheRealDrugs.com) with an email and was offering one on one personal coaching to teach people the tricks to get the most out of cooking crack. For aspiring crack dealers Mendoza's service was a dream come true. But for Mendoza, who had what is quite possibly the stupidest idea in the history of the world, lets just say it didn't work out the we he had planned. He was promptly arrested, and charged with being a moron, and impersonating an idiot.

He released a statement saying:

“MAN WE DON’T OWN NO COCOA PLANTS IN THIS COUNTRY I’M JUST TRYING TO FEED MY KIDS AND HELP US GET OUT THE GHETTO, THEY NEED TO LOCK UP THE GOVERNMENT THEY PUT THIS SH*T HERE NOT ME I’M JUST A SCAPEGOAT” — JAY

When 400-pound gorilla Kumbuka escaped from his enclosure at the London Zoo on Oct. 13, we can only imagine how scared some people were. The zoo was put on lock down and armed officials showed up, ready to contend with any mayhem.

But Kumbuka wasn’t looking for any trouble. Apparently, he was looking for delicious fruity syrup according to a Wednesday blog post by the institution’s zoological director David Field.

“Staff raised the alarm that triggered our standard escape response, while Kumbuka briefly explored the zookeeper area next door to his den, where he opened and drank five litres of undiluted blackcurrant squash. (“Squash”) is British English for a type of water diluted fruit concentrate).

 Much-publicized footage showed Kumbuka banging against the glass around his enclosure in response to rude zoo visitors who were taunting him. The Daily Mail reported that Kumbuka smashed through the glass to escape. But Field wrote that’s not what actually happened:

Kumbuka was called into his private night quarters for his dinner at around 5.10 p.m. on Thursday 13th October. As a big silverback male with a matching appetite, he eats separately from the females - otherwise they wouldn’t get a look in.

Unfortunately the door to his den had not been properly secured and a secondary security door had not yet been locked.

We’ve since established that Kumbuka made an opportunistic escape from his unlocked den into the staff-only service corridor where a zookeeper was working.

Thanks to the incredibly close bond and relationship shared by the zookeeper and Kumbuka, the zookeeper was able to continually reassure Kumbuka, talking to him calmly and in the same light-hearted tone he would always use, as he removed himself from the area.

Zoo staff contained Kumbuka in the staff-only corridor, which is where the primate partook of his fruity indulgence, according to Field. They then tranquilized him and transported him back to his den.

PR

Just When You Thought You Heard It All News (10-15-2016)

A former Arkansas judge/super freak who resigned amid allegations that he exchanged lighter sentences for sexual favors and photos of his defendants was indicted on fraud and bribery charges.

The indictment, unsealed on Monday, charges former Cross County District Judge Joseph Boeckmann with 21 counts related to an investigation into thousands of pictures of nude MEN found on his computer,......Yeah, I wasn't expecting that either.....Many of these men appeared in his courtroom and received reduced sentences.

The images included defendants who went to his home and posed for the judge, sometimes bending over 😳, sometimes nude, and sometimes in acts of masturbation, according to the Judicial Discipline and Disability Commission, which launched the misconduct investigation.

Boeckmann also offered to dismiss some cases or reduce punishments to community service if the men agreed to be photographed as he paddled them on their "bare buttocks," according to the indictment.

In some cases, investigators said Boeckmann even went so far as to pay their court fines himself!

Investigators believe Boeckmann was engaged in the alleged scheme since his term started in 2009. He resigned three days after the commission announced that it had reviewed 1,050 photographs, and was in the progress of receiving thousands more.

The 21 charges filed against Boeckmann, who is in custody, include bribery, wire fraud, violating the federal travel act, and witness tampering.

In a statement, the former judge has denied engaging in "any pattern of seeking out young Caucasian male litigants for the purpose of forming personal relationships."

As GOP nominee Donald Trump becomes more unelectable by the day, Twitter users are listing who or what could take his place in the presidential election.

Under the globally trending #MoreElectableThanTrump hashtag, they’ve deemed the entire cast of “Friends,” a block of cheese and “Harry Potter” villain Voldemort as more appealing candidates to vote for on Nov. 8.

Here are some of the best posts we’ve seen so far:

"I Can't Breath!"

“I can’t breathe” were the last words to come out of Michael Sabbie’s mouth to a group of prison guards that piled themselves on top of him, hours before he was found dead in a prison cell at the Bi State Jail located in Texarkana. The privately owned prison is near the border between Texas and Arkansas.  Surveillance footage of the hours leading to Michael’s death back in July of 2015 was recently made public, shedding light on the inhumane treatment Michael endured within 48 hours of his incarceration. Michael, a father of four, was arrested on July 19, 2015 after getting into an argument with his wife about money. She told police he threatened her during the argument. He was arrested and charged with third-degree assault on a household or family member, which is a misdemeanor.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLW9oWnedck

Michael had been in jail for almost 12 hours when he told jail staff he was having a hard time breathing when he laid down.  He was treated for having low oxygen levels in his blood and told to sit up if he had any other breathing issues. He had a court appearance the next day. Michael was sweating and coughing heavily in court and told the judge about his breathing issues and that he was coughing up blood. Despite the fact that he was in need of medical assistance, after the court appearance, he and other inmates were taken back to Bi State Jail.  

Surveillance video from the jail shows him leaning against a wall.  It shows Officer Clint Brown walking over to him.  Officer Brown claim that Michael was asking to make a phone call, and when he was refused the call, Officer Brown says Michael turned towards him aggressively, and that’s when five police guards wrestled him to the ground. Piling on a man who had already been complaining about having trouble breathing. 

You can hear Michael on the surveillance video begging and pleading with the police guards, saying “I can’t breathe, sir. Please! Please!”  Then a sixth officer pepper sprayed him directly in the face as he was telling officers he couldn’t breathe.  Michael was taken to the jail’s medical center and was seen by the same nurse, Tiffany Venable who he initially spoke with about his breathing issues. She concluded that his injuries were a normal reaction to being pepper sprayed and he was taken away by officers.  After his death, a police report noted that, ““Ms. Venable said she wanted to get off work on time because she had to get her daughter to a pitching lesson,” and she didn’t file a report on his later visit until the following day. 

After leaving the medical unit, officers took Michael to a shower to hose him down..... with his clothes still on!  He fainted once while he was in the shower.  The officers then dragged him back to his cell and left him on the floor.  He was found dead in his cell on July 22, 2015.  The medical examiner says he died of "natural causes", noting his obesity and heart muscle damage on his death report.  The official cause of death was hypertensive atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease, and the examiner said his altercation with police guards, “played a minimal role in the decedent’s death, and may not have contributed at all to his death.”

The Department of Justice is not pursuing charges against any of the officers involved in this case. 

But they should. Given the fact that Michael Sabbie was in police custody during the time of his death and he complained about breathing, the guards are directly responsible for his death. 

PR

Just When You Thought You Heard It All News (10-8-2016)

Green Bay Packers tight end Jared Cook has a bone to pick with Buffalo Wild Wings. It seems as if the wings were a little bit too wild.......

On Friday he tweeted a photo of a severed chicken head that he apparently received with his order at the sports bar chain on Tuesday.

Be warned: This might put you off chicken wings for an entire football season. 

In a statement to the Huffington Post, the chain said: “Buffalo Wild Wings takes food preparation, service and quality extremely seriously and we are looking into this situation. We’ve reached out to Jared Cook and our suppliers for more information.”

A man accused of shooting an AR-15 into the air near a woman walking a dog allegedly did so because he mistook her for a clown. 

 I guess he didn't realize that he's the clown!

Police in Bardstown, Kentucky, say Adam Tingle’s wife told him she saw a clown outside, and he yelled at the person in question, When the person didn’t react, he allegedly fired one shot into the air to scare them off, and his wife called 911.

Apparently, the “clown” was actually a woman walking her dog. Tingle was charged with second-degree wanton endangerment. This story begs the question. Are clowns the new targets?

Here's a sentence I bet you don't hear or read every day.

The afterbirth left an aftertaste............

A British man recently posted a video of himself eating his wife’s placenta, and no, I didn't post the link to the video! This weird moron at it both raw and cooked. 

Now Ross Watson is not only the proud father of a baby boy named Lachlan, but he’s a gone-viral epicurean with important knowledge of how the placenta tastes.

In the Sept. 24-posted clip, Lachlan declares the placenta is “definitely better cooked.” Watson takes a few forkfuls of beans to make it go down easier.

“Nine months in the cooking and about 10 minutes in the eating,” he quips. “Cheers.”

Watson later told the show “This Morning” the proposed stunt began as a “laugh” but he followed through. He said the placenta was juicy once it was cooked and was similar to liver with more of a rough texture. As for a specific flavor, Watson compared it to “possibly a bad cut of pork.”

His wife Heather said she was “disgusted at first but it’s just Ross.”

PR

Run Over & Then Shot!!

Sacramento police officers have sparked national outrage for fatally shooting Joseph Mann, a homeless African American man. Sadly such a narrative has become all too familiar. But the outrage turned into pure fury when the dash came footage was released, showing that the police officers not only shot Joseph  but they attempted to run over him prior to shooting him.

The footage shows the two Sacramento officers driving in a police vehicle, attempting to run the man down like a rabid dog at least two dispicable times.  If the video is not incriminating enough, there is audio that confirms that one of the police officers had every intention to run Joseph over with the vehicle, and the other officer was encouraging the heinous crime.

One of the officers can be heard on the recording saying, “I’m going to hit him.”  His partner says, “Okay…  Go for it.  Go for it.”

When using the car as a weapon did not work, the two officers got out of the vehicle and unloaded on the Joseph, shooting him fourteen times.  The two officers said that he had a knife and a gun.  However, there was no gun found either on him or anywhere at the scene.

The shooting has infuriated the city of Sacramento.  Robert Mann, the brother of the victim, says that these officers should not be in uniform.  Mann said that obviously the state of mind of these officers impacts them and how well they can do their job. Indeed!

The Mann family has filed a wrongful death law suit against the Sacramento Police Department and the two officers.  The Sacramento Police Department is still investigating this incident.  

PR

Just When You Thought You Heard It All News (10-1-2016)

When Jamie Barnes returned to her house in South Memphis, Tennessee, last Sunday after being gone for a few days, she was shocked by what she found.

Not only was her place ransacked, she says, but she saw a man and woman having sex on her couch.

“It’s horrible in there. It’s absolutely horrible in there. "It's just like they had a big old nasty party". Barnes said. “Walk in and they’re having sex on my couch. I pick up my broom, I wanted to hit that man so bad.”

Barnes said when she chased the man out of her house, he kept saying, “I don’t know nothing,” over and over.

The woman, later identified as 44-year-old Tonka Barnes, grabbed one of the victim’s dresses to cover up.

“She tried to grab one of my dresses and put it on and I snatched it from her. ‘What are you trying to do?’” Jamie Barnes told local media sources.

It is not known whether the victim is related to the female suspect.

According to Memphis police, jewelry, appliances, shoes and clothing were stolen from the house. Barnes, who estimates the value of the stolen items at $2,200, had been away from the house since Friday.

A witness told investigators that the male suspect, who is still at large, tried to sell a silver ring that belonged to the victim.

Tonka Barnes was charged with aggravated burglary and is being held on $30,000 bond at the Shelby County Jail, according to WREG TV.

Jamie Barnes is now looking for a new home.

“I don’t feel comfortable at this house, so in my eyes, I’m homeless,” she said. And just like every other victim of all crimes both big and small, Barnes has created a GoFund Me account in order to get money to replace the stolen items.

As of this week, she has raised $65 toward her $2,200 goal.

LOLOLOL!!!

Election season is in full swing, and now MAD magazine is taking a swing at Hillary Clinton.

The venerable humor magazine skewers Clinton in its latest issue with a My Little Pony spoof called “My Little Phony.”

The spread points out a few of the times when the former secretary of state was caught fibbing, but in cartoon horsy form.

A Florida woman had to fight for a refund after she was erroneously charged for more than 27,000 gallons of gas.

Susan Gower's husband stopped at a Valero gas station in North Fort Myers, Florida on May 5th, like he's done many times before.

"He filled his car up, maybe $20 worth or something like that. He used his credit card," she said.

When they tried to use the card the next day, the card was over its credit limit.

Gower then checked her account, noticing a charge for $9949.36 from this Valero gas station.

Looking at the receipt from Valero, she saw the pump charged her for more than 27,000 gallons of gas.

Gower immediately went to the bank, canceling her card.

"The bank just said, 'Get with Valero, have them reverse the charges.' Very simple," she remembers.

The gas station manager, however, told her it wasn't possible.

Two weeks later, after getting Valero customer service involved, Gower's account was credited back the money.

She was relieved -- but frustrated with the owner of that station's lack of customer service.

"It stemmed from the glitch in his gas pump. He just wouldn't ever own up to the fact that he was wrong," she says.

While her account was frozen, Gower was unable to use her Visa reward points to rent two cars, paying out of pocket.

She was hoping the owner would pay back that money for the hassle but hasn't been able to reach him -- so local reporter Lisa Greenberg reached out herself.

When Greenberg asked the station manager how he was going to make it up to Gower, he hung up on her.

"I'm a teacher, and 10-year-olds know they need to own up to their mistakes, and try to make it right and apologize. That's what makes me mad," says Gower.


PR